We Are Okay. We Are Alright.

Hello.

My stupid pessimistic moods wont go away. I hate it, I want to go back to finding happiness in the tiniest of things but I can't. I have moved my 'It's a Beautiful Day' cup to by my mirror so when I get ready I see it every morning, and it'll remind me of happy memories and put me in a good mood. Fingers crossed. Also there are officially 9days left of my AS year which fills me with a combination of utter joy and complete stress that exams are less than 2 weeks away?! 
It is the end of the Bank Holiday weekend, I hope you all enjoyed the long weekend if you didn't have to work or anything! I had a gloriously lazy weekend, seeing the boyfriend (we made egg people and watched Tom and Jerry - children much?!) and going shopping and to the cinema with a friend. Date Night is a pretty funny film, some bits have too much talking in but on a whole it makes you laugh out loud and the outtakes are funny too. I also would like to ask Topshop to stop accepting my hard earned money on clothes that I really have no need for! It is very unfair that they make everything so tempting when I have to save for so much! Although I am quite proud of myself as I have managed to save £180 for driving lessons, even though I cant drive for another 4months and 7days, and £110 for my spending money when I go to Canada in the last two months! Not bad.

This is pretty much all I want right now: cup of black tea and a good book. Keep me distracted from the world for hours. I can't remember the last book I read that wasn't a revision guide or textbook. Give me a story full of cliches, twists or suspense. Anything that will create a fantastic make believe moment.

Do think it every occurs to people that when you say that what they are doing doesn't bother you, or you don't mind what they say, you might be lying? It might tear you up to hear that name come out of their mouth, no matter what their saying. Sometimes I doubt you even realise how scared I am about how long we have left before that big realization comes down and smacks you round the face.
Approximately 6hours and 45mins until I have to wake up..I shouldn't have left my jobs this late. Thankfully I am not tired! Must be getting on now though, and for the people that read this. I apologise, deeply and truely, for my negative posts recently. I will post a big shiny, colourful, happy blog sometime soon and you'll all turn round and say 'What a ray of fucking sunshine you are!' And yes. I really will be...at some point in the future, hopefully..maybe. Until then, throw pennies at my head.

In A While Crocodile.