Everyone Keeps Saying Nothing Helps But Time

Hello.
I hope this sun contines, it makes the world seem such a nicer place. Everyone smiles and laughs in the sun, it's hard to be negative in  anyway when you can look out at the world and see it covered in warm sunshine. Another ice cream (the diet starts tomorrow I swear), kicking back in the sun, talking crap and laying next to the person that makes you happiest in the world - perfection in a few hours. College really isnt that bad on days like that. Plan for the late essay worked perfectly - doing my sweet and innocent 'I'd never hand in a piece of work late/not do it at all' face, copied a friends homework 10mins before it was due in, sorted out bad attentance saying it was a computer error (extra EMA) and finally did some more revision. Not bad college day really.
Been thinking today about the different sides of people you get to see around different people. One of my worst habits is people watching and realised at college how if you watch one person go through their day, they show around 5 different sides of themselves. I can understand acting differently with teachers than you do with your friends but when it's smoungst your friendship group, it seems wrong to me. Surely they should accept you for who you are and if you change so often when are you truely being yourself? Annoys me. Also annoys me how people cant accept change or assume everything will stay the same no matter what comes along. Nothing is constant and no matter how hard you try to resist it everything is constantly evolving into something new. I dont want to loose you, but things have to move on for the better. This friendship is worth so much, I dont want to see it in the gutter. You mean the world to me and I really dont know what I would do without you.

I can't help but feel that sometimes we are incredibly insignificant. The natural world, being animals plants etc, would go on without us - in all honesty probably thrive without us! A single person has a incredibly small chance of be able to make a significant difference to everyone. Yes, you can donate money to charity, make someone smile when they cry and small things like that. But in all honesty how many of us will be remembered after we go by people other than our family? Even they will forget. We follow orders, rules and regulations because everyone is too scared to branch out. To make a difference. We are the generation which has the most infomation at our fingertips but we dont use it? Only for personal gain in education or work. What kind of legacy is that leaving for the future? We are the generation that failed to make a difference..Nice.
Also felt the 'green monster' come out today and it wont go away. She was there for less than 2minutes and I couldn't help but think that you were regretting your choice. It was a clear step down to me, and I cant see what made you take that step when for you climbing up isn't hard. The time we have had together, has given me no reason to think I'm not giving everything they need but now how do I know for sure. So many thoughts will go unsaid.
Apologises I have been drinking Pimms all night and have now realised it has made me turn into a pessimist who is terrified of losing people. Or maybe that was there and it has just been brought out. Hopefully will have gone back tomorrow. Oh on a final good note - my egg joke is going down very well at college (:

In A While Crocodile.