Hello.
Today I am being very thankful for the little things. My new Topshop bag arrived, Mum has offered to pay for it, my other parcel arrived, my mock this morning went quite well, my mock this afternoon went okayish, listened to Bullet For My Valentines new album Fever fully and loved it, my boyfriend passed his driving test, my room is tidier, revision is started, I have the new Elle, I'm getting an earlyish night, my stalker wasnt on the bus home and I got to smell the rain again today. Thanks to all these things I have been in a very good mood all evening. Putting the past few days behind me and focusing on the here and now is going to be a wise choice I think. Also decided I want to lose about 4Ilbs by the end of May, tomorrow is looking to be a good start to the plan, 30min walk in the morning, healthy food all day, swimming for an hour and a half and possibly another 30min walk in the afternoon. Wish me luck.
In A While Crocodile.
Thursday, 29 April 2010
Monday, 26 April 2010
Because They Never Got To Hang Around With Boys In School
Hello.
I have decided that if I really am that much of an effort to talk to, don't bother. Neither of us every really want to talk, you clearly hate living in the same house as me, I'm a disappointment to you, and just generally I don't think you would care if I never came back here. So please don't bother anymore, I'm better off with silence.
Sorry had to get that off my chest. Apart my episode with her, I am having a pretty peachy few days. Saw family, saw boyfriend, saw friends, sunbathed and finally ordered the bag I want from Topshop! The sun is still shining and I'm still on my way to seeing the good in everything no matter how hard it seems to find. Actually went swimming on Friday and have never been so excited to go again, I love the feeling afterwards of being all refreshed but tired at the same time! Such good fun, and I'm walking even more now so hopefully will be toned and skinny for summer. Half a stone would be quite nice to loose..wishful thinking though I think. Think positive, it may happen! Slightly stressing out that I have just over 2weeks until my exams start so may have to start revising like now! Staying on at college for an extra couple of hours tomorrow though so will get lots done then hopefully.
Couple of happy thoughts; When you hit rock bottom, things can only get better. Someone somewhere is thinking about you, even if it is just a passing thought - you still matter to them. And it's been 3months and everything is still so amazing (:
In A While Crocodile
I have decided that if I really am that much of an effort to talk to, don't bother. Neither of us every really want to talk, you clearly hate living in the same house as me, I'm a disappointment to you, and just generally I don't think you would care if I never came back here. So please don't bother anymore, I'm better off with silence.
Sorry had to get that off my chest. Apart my episode with her, I am having a pretty peachy few days. Saw family, saw boyfriend, saw friends, sunbathed and finally ordered the bag I want from Topshop! The sun is still shining and I'm still on my way to seeing the good in everything no matter how hard it seems to find. Actually went swimming on Friday and have never been so excited to go again, I love the feeling afterwards of being all refreshed but tired at the same time! Such good fun, and I'm walking even more now so hopefully will be toned and skinny for summer. Half a stone would be quite nice to loose..wishful thinking though I think. Think positive, it may happen! Slightly stressing out that I have just over 2weeks until my exams start so may have to start revising like now! Staying on at college for an extra couple of hours tomorrow though so will get lots done then hopefully.
Couple of happy thoughts; When you hit rock bottom, things can only get better. Someone somewhere is thinking about you, even if it is just a passing thought - you still matter to them. And it's been 3months and everything is still so amazing (:
In A While Crocodile
Thursday, 22 April 2010
Shoelaces untied.
Hello.
I have decided you can never fully be thankful for a early finish at college when you go home early a lot anyway. But all the same finishing 5hours early today was pretty damn wonderful, I got to spend the rest of the day get my hair sorted, beating my boyfriend at Monopoly, making blanket tents and having sword fights with empty bottles. Moments I don't want to ever forget.
As previously mentioned I have an appalling road awareness and live with my head in the clouds, today that was proven beyond belief. Illustrated perfectly by this picture;
I was walking to the bus station after buying my morning apple juice, when I saw a duck walking along the path, get to the crossing and start walking across the road using the crossing! Only to have a car nearly hit it, thankfully it didn't. Whilst I was fascinated by the duck using a crossing, I forgot that I was in the middle of the road and traffic comes both ways..I nearly got run over because I was watching a duck. Just a bit stupid.
Sorry about the lack of a post last night, my friend ended up coming round and staying. Was lovely, late night catch ups and laughter is perfect really. After nearly 13years of seeing her nearly everyday, I bloody miss her now I don't.
Tomorrow is a healthy day! And I am excited, which should mean I'm suffering from a severe mental illness. 15 minute walk to town in the morning, healthy lunch and then swimming for two hours in the afternoon. Going to have to wear a big t-shirt for swimming though, going with skinny friends never does very well for the old self esteem! Hopefully this means I'll be toned, skinny and tanned for the summer time! You know what they say about best laid plans though... Oh my. That quote just reminds me of school and GCSEs, god how life was so simple back then!
I have decided you can never fully be thankful for a early finish at college when you go home early a lot anyway. But all the same finishing 5hours early today was pretty damn wonderful, I got to spend the rest of the day get my hair sorted, beating my boyfriend at Monopoly, making blanket tents and having sword fights with empty bottles. Moments I don't want to ever forget.
As previously mentioned I have an appalling road awareness and live with my head in the clouds, today that was proven beyond belief. Illustrated perfectly by this picture;
Sorry about the lack of a post last night, my friend ended up coming round and staying. Was lovely, late night catch ups and laughter is perfect really. After nearly 13years of seeing her nearly everyday, I bloody miss her now I don't.
Tomorrow is a healthy day! And I am excited, which should mean I'm suffering from a severe mental illness. 15 minute walk to town in the morning, healthy lunch and then swimming for two hours in the afternoon. Going to have to wear a big t-shirt for swimming though, going with skinny friends never does very well for the old self esteem! Hopefully this means I'll be toned, skinny and tanned for the summer time! You know what they say about best laid plans though... Oh my. That quote just reminds me of school and GCSEs, god how life was so simple back then!
Been thinking a lot about how I cant wait to be free, get out of here and make my own way in the world. Life is too short and I don't want to die tomorrow knowing I'll have never gotten out and experienced life. Counting the years, months, weeks, days, hours..till I can leave. It's so far away. I can't wait that long.
In A While Crocodile.
Tuesday, 20 April 2010
Everyone Keeps Saying Nothing Helps But Time
Hello.
I hope this sun contines, it makes the world seem such a nicer place. Everyone smiles and laughs in the sun, it's hard to be negative in anyway when you can look out at the world and see it covered in warm sunshine. Another ice cream (the diet starts tomorrow I swear), kicking back in the sun, talking crap and laying next to the person that makes you happiest in the world - perfection in a few hours. College really isnt that bad on days like that. Plan for the late essay worked perfectly - doing my sweet and innocent 'I'd never hand in a piece of work late/not do it at all' face, copied a friends homework 10mins before it was due in, sorted out bad attentance saying it was a computer error (extra EMA) and finally did some more revision. Not bad college day really.
Been thinking today about the different sides of people you get to see around different people. One of my worst habits is people watching and realised at college how if you watch one person go through their day, they show around 5 different sides of themselves. I can understand acting differently with teachers than you do with your friends but when it's smoungst your friendship group, it seems wrong to me. Surely they should accept you for who you are and if you change so often when are you truely being yourself? Annoys me. Also annoys me how people cant accept change or assume everything will stay the same no matter what comes along. Nothing is constant and no matter how hard you try to resist it everything is constantly evolving into something new. I dont want to loose you, but things have to move on for the better. This friendship is worth so much, I dont want to see it in the gutter. You mean the world to me and I really dont know what I would do without you.
I can't help but feel that sometimes we are incredibly insignificant. The natural world, being animals plants etc, would go on without us - in all honesty probably thrive without us! A single person has a incredibly small chance of be able to make a significant difference to everyone. Yes, you can donate money to charity, make someone smile when they cry and small things like that. But in all honesty how many of us will be remembered after we go by people other than our family? Even they will forget. We follow orders, rules and regulations because everyone is too scared to branch out. To make a difference. We are the generation which has the most infomation at our fingertips but we dont use it? Only for personal gain in education or work. What kind of legacy is that leaving for the future? We are the generation that failed to make a difference..Nice.
Also felt the 'green monster' come out today and it wont go away. She was there for less than 2minutes and I couldn't help but think that you were regretting your choice. It was a clear step down to me, and I cant see what made you take that step when for you climbing up isn't hard. The time we have had together, has given me no reason to think I'm not giving everything they need but now how do I know for sure. So many thoughts will go unsaid.
Apologises I have been drinking Pimms all night and have now realised it has made me turn into a pessimist who is terrified of losing people. Or maybe that was there and it has just been brought out. Hopefully will have gone back tomorrow. Oh on a final good note - my egg joke is going down very well at college (:
In A While Crocodile.
I hope this sun contines, it makes the world seem such a nicer place. Everyone smiles and laughs in the sun, it's hard to be negative in anyway when you can look out at the world and see it covered in warm sunshine. Another ice cream (the diet starts tomorrow I swear), kicking back in the sun, talking crap and laying next to the person that makes you happiest in the world - perfection in a few hours. College really isnt that bad on days like that. Plan for the late essay worked perfectly - doing my sweet and innocent 'I'd never hand in a piece of work late/not do it at all' face, copied a friends homework 10mins before it was due in, sorted out bad attentance saying it was a computer error (extra EMA) and finally did some more revision. Not bad college day really.
Been thinking today about the different sides of people you get to see around different people. One of my worst habits is people watching and realised at college how if you watch one person go through their day, they show around 5 different sides of themselves. I can understand acting differently with teachers than you do with your friends but when it's smoungst your friendship group, it seems wrong to me. Surely they should accept you for who you are and if you change so often when are you truely being yourself? Annoys me. Also annoys me how people cant accept change or assume everything will stay the same no matter what comes along. Nothing is constant and no matter how hard you try to resist it everything is constantly evolving into something new. I dont want to loose you, but things have to move on for the better. This friendship is worth so much, I dont want to see it in the gutter. You mean the world to me and I really dont know what I would do without you.
Also felt the 'green monster' come out today and it wont go away. She was there for less than 2minutes and I couldn't help but think that you were regretting your choice. It was a clear step down to me, and I cant see what made you take that step when for you climbing up isn't hard. The time we have had together, has given me no reason to think I'm not giving everything they need but now how do I know for sure. So many thoughts will go unsaid.
Apologises I have been drinking Pimms all night and have now realised it has made me turn into a pessimist who is terrified of losing people. Or maybe that was there and it has just been brought out. Hopefully will have gone back tomorrow. Oh on a final good note - my egg joke is going down very well at college (:
In A While Crocodile.
Monday, 19 April 2010
19
Hello.
19days left of being an AS student. 19days until study leave. 19days until my nervous breakdown. First Mr Whippy (with flake of course) of the year today (: Thanks to a lunchtime of sunbathing and realising there is an icecream van right outside college. Omnomnomnom is the only way to describe it. I decided to stay on at college today to do work but ended up sunbathing on the field for an extra hour with lovely people I had missed lots <3. As much as I enjoy the old blogging, college is a very uninspiring thing to write about and therefore end of topic. Except one of my English teachers is stuck in Italy at the moment and I think one of my Comms teachers is stuck abroad too! Still have to go to their lessons though - terribly unfair if you ask me.
This needs some working on but it's the unedited first draft.
Will you walk the line
Pretending to have a spine
Holding your head up high
Beneath the stormy sky
Tonight it will all unfold
Leaving you with nothing to hold
The past from which you fled
Is keeping you back like words unsaid
I'll stand and watch you stumble
Over the earth into which you'll crumble
My life is revolving round the number 19 at the moment it seems. See above for further details. Also I wish I was 19; I could drive, be at Uni, be young enough to experience but be old enough to know the important things that matter, be out of here.
Bit of a short post tonight but am really tired so sweet dreams
In A While Crocodile.
19days left of being an AS student. 19days until study leave. 19days until my nervous breakdown. First Mr Whippy (with flake of course) of the year today (: Thanks to a lunchtime of sunbathing and realising there is an icecream van right outside college. Omnomnomnom is the only way to describe it. I decided to stay on at college today to do work but ended up sunbathing on the field for an extra hour with lovely people I had missed lots <3. As much as I enjoy the old blogging, college is a very uninspiring thing to write about and therefore end of topic. Except one of my English teachers is stuck in Italy at the moment and I think one of my Comms teachers is stuck abroad too! Still have to go to their lessons though - terribly unfair if you ask me.
This needs some working on but it's the unedited first draft.
Will you walk the line
Pretending to have a spine
Holding your head up high
Beneath the stormy sky
Tonight it will all unfold
Leaving you with nothing to hold
The past from which you fled
Is keeping you back like words unsaid
I'll stand and watch you stumble
Over the earth into which you'll crumble
My life is revolving round the number 19 at the moment it seems. See above for further details. Also I wish I was 19; I could drive, be at Uni, be young enough to experience but be old enough to know the important things that matter, be out of here.
Bit of a short post tonight but am really tired so sweet dreams
In A While Crocodile.
Sunday, 18 April 2010
Take me away and I'll hold you.
Hello.
I seem to have broken my tradition for a Sunday routine, actually traditionally there was a distinct lack of it, and been very productive today. Woke up early enough not to repeat my disaster of getting ready yesterday, thankfully no need for a bus this morning! Sunday buses are horrible, and tend to be either very early so you miss them or very late so your plans get muddled. Stayed an extra two hours at work to help out, did my first viewing of the home today as well. They seemed impressed, asked a few questions I had no idea about but I managed to scrap through. Quite strange though the daughter knows a college friend and her sister, small world, so was nice to have a semi normal coversation during the tour. My feet killed by the end of the day, walking around 3floors and the stairs between them in heels for 6hours is never fun! I really dont understand how people can do it?! Although I have seen a fair few professional women slipping heels on and off on the Underground in London so maybe they aren't the superwomen I think they are. Home at 5 to do some washing, clean my room, change the bedding, make my dinner, finish some final bits of work off, pack my bag and make my lunch for tomorrow - quite excited about it I have a bunch of grapes, cherry tomatoes, cucumber, carrots, pineapple, a gold bar and a bag of snack a jacks (: Don't get me wrong I'm not some kind of healthy eating freak - just couldnt be bothered to make a sandwich! Anyway, so I am feeling pretty good about my day, am left in a slight wanting for a lazy Sunday tomorrow though instead have to go back to the glorious education that is college.
Thinking positive about it though, I think I have all my work done for Monday at least and I get to see people I havent seen for two weeks - teachers be pre-advised that no learning will take place, only catching up nattering (: Plus I have the choice of going home at 1 and enjoy the sunshine in my grandparents back garden or stay until 3 to have lunch with friends and get some work done. We shall see.
I found this picture today, http://antontang.deviantart.com/art/Be-careful-160786906 , and it just makes me smile. Not quite sure why? It reminds me of me and my boyfriend I think, he is always worrying about me - with good reason I suppose, I have no road awareness, I'm clumsy and live with my head in the clouds. I hope you have someone that is there to worry about you or be there to catch you when you fall. If you dont yet, don't worry they'll be waiting for you somewhere just give it time. I am quite the old romantic at heart in case you hadn't guessed.
As previously mentioned before about the Penguin Bars and the jokes they have, I was listening to the radio today and a joke came on which I thought was hilarious but nobody else seems to laugh at. Here it is;
What do you call a chicken in a shellsuit?
An egg!
Ahh brilliant.
Despite the fact I have to be leaving my house in less than 8hours, I am feeling the urge to have a shower and stay up to watch Girl, Interrupted. A truely amazing film that if you haven't seen I thoroughly recommend! Angelina Jolie acting is just awe inspiring. Plus I do have a slight girl crush on Winona Ryder..
Am truely missing one of my closet friends at the moment. I think a night of Party Rings, Tea and Biscuits, Apple Crumble and just general chattering is in order. The thought of losing people I love scares me more than anything..even ants.
Time to go now. Really can't afford to sleep in tomorrow..no matter how tempting it really is.
In A While Crocodile
I seem to have broken my tradition for a Sunday routine, actually traditionally there was a distinct lack of it, and been very productive today. Woke up early enough not to repeat my disaster of getting ready yesterday, thankfully no need for a bus this morning! Sunday buses are horrible, and tend to be either very early so you miss them or very late so your plans get muddled. Stayed an extra two hours at work to help out, did my first viewing of the home today as well. They seemed impressed, asked a few questions I had no idea about but I managed to scrap through. Quite strange though the daughter knows a college friend and her sister, small world, so was nice to have a semi normal coversation during the tour. My feet killed by the end of the day, walking around 3floors and the stairs between them in heels for 6hours is never fun! I really dont understand how people can do it?! Although I have seen a fair few professional women slipping heels on and off on the Underground in London so maybe they aren't the superwomen I think they are. Home at 5 to do some washing, clean my room, change the bedding, make my dinner, finish some final bits of work off, pack my bag and make my lunch for tomorrow - quite excited about it I have a bunch of grapes, cherry tomatoes, cucumber, carrots, pineapple, a gold bar and a bag of snack a jacks (: Don't get me wrong I'm not some kind of healthy eating freak - just couldnt be bothered to make a sandwich! Anyway, so I am feeling pretty good about my day, am left in a slight wanting for a lazy Sunday tomorrow though instead have to go back to the glorious education that is college.
Thinking positive about it though, I think I have all my work done for Monday at least and I get to see people I havent seen for two weeks - teachers be pre-advised that no learning will take place, only catching up nattering (: Plus I have the choice of going home at 1 and enjoy the sunshine in my grandparents back garden or stay until 3 to have lunch with friends and get some work done. We shall see.
As previously mentioned before about the Penguin Bars and the jokes they have, I was listening to the radio today and a joke came on which I thought was hilarious but nobody else seems to laugh at. Here it is;
What do you call a chicken in a shellsuit?
An egg!
Ahh brilliant.
Despite the fact I have to be leaving my house in less than 8hours, I am feeling the urge to have a shower and stay up to watch Girl, Interrupted. A truely amazing film that if you haven't seen I thoroughly recommend! Angelina Jolie acting is just awe inspiring. Plus I do have a slight girl crush on Winona Ryder..
Am truely missing one of my closet friends at the moment. I think a night of Party Rings, Tea and Biscuits, Apple Crumble and just general chattering is in order. The thought of losing people I love scares me more than anything..even ants.
Time to go now. Really can't afford to sleep in tomorrow..no matter how tempting it really is.
In A While Crocodile
Midnight.
Hello.
Well it is indeed midnight and my plans for an early night seem to have run away and hid in some dark corner. Never mind eh? (: Another lovely day of sunshine although I had to spend most of it inside at work, it was still b-e-a-utiful! Woke up this morning five minutes before my bus was due to leave so after 3minutes of trying to get ready I admitted defeat and called my mother to give me a lift in. So 15minutes later I walked into work with no makeup, unwashed hair, slightly creased clothes and a very tired expression, not quite the look a receptionist should have if I'm honest. Within half an hour 3 people had said I looked rough and asked if I was hungover, I am ashamed to say I couldnt even blame it on that just a bad nights sleep. Looking at it from an optimistic failing it meant I have now set another alarm for the morning and even though I looked dreadful I still managed to get to work on time. After work meant sunbathing and spending time with Mum, whilst avoiding the ever looming pile of work to be done by Monday! Procrastination is a wonderful thing, still lacking on the tan front - nearly 3hours in the sun brought not even the slightest colour. A moment from when I was little was brought back today when I realised the Penguin chocolate bar still print jokes on the wrapper. I remember reading them in Primary School! Quite glad children are still be inflicted with the awful jokes that I was. Also finally finished an essay that was due in 2weeks ago tonight, so am quite happy with myself. Good day all round to be honest.
A good muscian/artist to look out for is Joshua Radin, listening to him all day today and his lyrics are brilliant - Vegetable Car make me smile everytime, and it is just really nice music to relax to. Also something I have been thinking about recently which has probably come from a quote originally is that when you truely think you have hit rock bottom, just look up at the sky. If you see rainclouds - that rain is growing food for you to eat, if you see sun - rememeber each time the sun rises new chances are coming up for you to take and if you see the night sky - each star is a dream just waiting for you to start chasing. Things can't be perfect all the time but it shows us so much about ourselves and the people around us, each moment should be valued along with the all the happy ones.
All jobs are done, goodnight phone call made, so all is left is to close this and start dreaming.
In A While Crocodile
Well it is indeed midnight and my plans for an early night seem to have run away and hid in some dark corner. Never mind eh? (: Another lovely day of sunshine although I had to spend most of it inside at work, it was still b-e-a-utiful! Woke up this morning five minutes before my bus was due to leave so after 3minutes of trying to get ready I admitted defeat and called my mother to give me a lift in. So 15minutes later I walked into work with no makeup, unwashed hair, slightly creased clothes and a very tired expression, not quite the look a receptionist should have if I'm honest. Within half an hour 3 people had said I looked rough and asked if I was hungover, I am ashamed to say I couldnt even blame it on that just a bad nights sleep. Looking at it from an optimistic failing it meant I have now set another alarm for the morning and even though I looked dreadful I still managed to get to work on time. After work meant sunbathing and spending time with Mum, whilst avoiding the ever looming pile of work to be done by Monday! Procrastination is a wonderful thing, still lacking on the tan front - nearly 3hours in the sun brought not even the slightest colour. A moment from when I was little was brought back today when I realised the Penguin chocolate bar still print jokes on the wrapper. I remember reading them in Primary School! Quite glad children are still be inflicted with the awful jokes that I was. Also finally finished an essay that was due in 2weeks ago tonight, so am quite happy with myself. Good day all round to be honest.
A good muscian/artist to look out for is Joshua Radin, listening to him all day today and his lyrics are brilliant - Vegetable Car make me smile everytime, and it is just really nice music to relax to. Also something I have been thinking about recently which has probably come from a quote originally is that when you truely think you have hit rock bottom, just look up at the sky. If you see rainclouds - that rain is growing food for you to eat, if you see sun - rememeber each time the sun rises new chances are coming up for you to take and if you see the night sky - each star is a dream just waiting for you to start chasing. Things can't be perfect all the time but it shows us so much about ourselves and the people around us, each moment should be valued along with the all the happy ones.
All jobs are done, goodnight phone call made, so all is left is to close this and start dreaming.
In A While Crocodile
Friday, 16 April 2010
Sunshine Days and Cloudy Nights
Hello.
First proper blog and I have a feeling it's going to be a long one. Lets begin with Sunshine Days, this Easter I have been in awe of the beautiful British weather. The fact people are having BBQs in April, eating ice creams in the park and generally enjoying themselves makes me so happy. April Showers can wait a little bit longer I feel. Although I'm still lacking in the slightest bit of colour on my legs I'm sure if the sun continues they will brown up nicely..or go very red depending whether I remember suncream or not! Today I saw some old friends and truely realised that no matter how long you go without seeing them, when you can sit in Starbucks for over 2hours talking not thinking 10minutes had past thats means you have a lasting friendship. Old jokes mixed with new gossip and updating on your lives whilst reliving past times makes me so happy and I am so thankful I have people I can do that with. Even though I had to sit for an hour on a bus with no music sounding from headphones there and back, it was worth it.
Favourite quotes of the day have to be;
"What's the point in having a block if you can't go round it a few times?"
"Can you comfort eat diet pills?"
"Do you have to keep licking the Starbucks lady in public?!"
I do truely adore my friends.
The sun has also meant me and the boyf have been able to go out flying kites, walking and doing general outside things which has been amazing. I love that we do real things together and even if from the outside it looks incredibly mundane, on the inside I can assure you it's anything but. Nearly 3months together and I'm still struggling to believe it. Couldn't believe just one person could make me this happy.
So here is my plea to the weather man; 'Please let the sunshine continue, and if you can't give us rain that makes people go out and dance in it, run through puddles with patterned wellies and couples kiss in it. Whatever the weather is; let it make people smile like the sun does'
Next comes the cloudy nights. It seems that whilst the sunny days are filled with joy, the nights are a different story. In the form of saying goodbye to people I care about, arguements and being to far to away to make people I love happy. I hate that I can't drive. When someone tells me they are upset I can't go to their front door, take their hand and take them away. I can't be the person they need, being at the end of the phone isn't enough, you can't do anything that will really make them smile unless you are there with them. It scares me to think that someone will need more than a phone call, and I wont be able to give them what they need like a real friend would. I would give anything to hold them in my arms right now. I hate the way you never seem good enough for your families expectations and you are always that little bit of a failure in their eyes in comparison to your brother. My friends oppinions and expectations have now become more important than anybody elses, at least when I fuck up, they understand and help or just laugh and tell me I spent too much time on Facebook. Either of those is better than seeing another flash of dissapointment in my families eyes. I also hate the way I am in a crap mood after a lovely day, but like the title says 'Sunshine Days and Cloudy Nights', hopefully I'll start sleeping again soon and the cloudy nights wont seem so long.
On a positive note check out Jose Vanders - Literature Lovers album, it's brilliant and makes me feel all summery, also Metric, King Charles, Two Doors Cinema Club and Scouting For Girls new song is/are lush.
In A While Crocodile.
First proper blog and I have a feeling it's going to be a long one. Lets begin with Sunshine Days, this Easter I have been in awe of the beautiful British weather. The fact people are having BBQs in April, eating ice creams in the park and generally enjoying themselves makes me so happy. April Showers can wait a little bit longer I feel. Although I'm still lacking in the slightest bit of colour on my legs I'm sure if the sun continues they will brown up nicely..or go very red depending whether I remember suncream or not! Today I saw some old friends and truely realised that no matter how long you go without seeing them, when you can sit in Starbucks for over 2hours talking not thinking 10minutes had past thats means you have a lasting friendship. Old jokes mixed with new gossip and updating on your lives whilst reliving past times makes me so happy and I am so thankful I have people I can do that with. Even though I had to sit for an hour on a bus with no music sounding from headphones there and back, it was worth it.
Favourite quotes of the day have to be;
"What's the point in having a block if you can't go round it a few times?"
"Can you comfort eat diet pills?"
"Do you have to keep licking the Starbucks lady in public?!"
I do truely adore my friends.
The sun has also meant me and the boyf have been able to go out flying kites, walking and doing general outside things which has been amazing. I love that we do real things together and even if from the outside it looks incredibly mundane, on the inside I can assure you it's anything but. Nearly 3months together and I'm still struggling to believe it. Couldn't believe just one person could make me this happy.
So here is my plea to the weather man; 'Please let the sunshine continue, and if you can't give us rain that makes people go out and dance in it, run through puddles with patterned wellies and couples kiss in it. Whatever the weather is; let it make people smile like the sun does'
Next comes the cloudy nights. It seems that whilst the sunny days are filled with joy, the nights are a different story. In the form of saying goodbye to people I care about, arguements and being to far to away to make people I love happy. I hate that I can't drive. When someone tells me they are upset I can't go to their front door, take their hand and take them away. I can't be the person they need, being at the end of the phone isn't enough, you can't do anything that will really make them smile unless you are there with them. It scares me to think that someone will need more than a phone call, and I wont be able to give them what they need like a real friend would. I would give anything to hold them in my arms right now. I hate the way you never seem good enough for your families expectations and you are always that little bit of a failure in their eyes in comparison to your brother. My friends oppinions and expectations have now become more important than anybody elses, at least when I fuck up, they understand and help or just laugh and tell me I spent too much time on Facebook. Either of those is better than seeing another flash of dissapointment in my families eyes. I also hate the way I am in a crap mood after a lovely day, but like the title says 'Sunshine Days and Cloudy Nights', hopefully I'll start sleeping again soon and the cloudy nights wont seem so long.
On a positive note check out Jose Vanders - Literature Lovers album, it's brilliant and makes me feel all summery, also Metric, King Charles, Two Doors Cinema Club and Scouting For Girls new song is/are lush.
In A While Crocodile.
Hello.
Hello. I'm Emily, it's nice to meet you.
I am many things but here are the important things;
I am many things but here are the important things;
- A Procrastinator
- A Pessimistic Optimist
- Frequently Over Thinking Things
- A Bookworm
- Spontaneous
- A Collector Of Memories
- A Dreamer
- Trying To See The Beauty In Everything
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