Hello.
I have moved the blog over to Tumblr, it makes things easier. If you want to carry on reading I'll be posting random thoughts and ramblings at http://optimisticfailures.tumblr.com/ .
In A While Crocodile.
Thursday, 22 July 2010
Tuesday, 6 July 2010
Dance, Dance To The Robot
Hello.
"We're all a little bit broken." That is pretty true, well actually it's very true. I firmly believe nobody is 'perfect', and if someone was perfect, would we believe it? Surely part of being human is being that little bit broken, having lots of little small things that need fixing by perhaps one single special person or many people? Our little flaws make us who we are, they are the bits that make us quirky, different and been seen as a damn right individual in this world of nomothetic generalisations . Take away my broken bits and I'll be a clone of your ideals and aspirations. We are all made from small bits of stardust, so what if we don't all shine with the same intensity? I'd rather be a small star in a sky of big ones, than not be a star at all. I'm tired of being told I'm broken like it's a bad thing.
In A While Crocodile.
Saturday, 3 July 2010
Who Did You Last Dream Of?
Hello.
It's been a while, hasn't it? I just couldn't write whilst everything was happening and if I had carried on then I think it would have just been too much, almost too personal? The fact this is so anonymous, hardly anybody reads this and most of the time it never makes sense just makes its so much easier. To sum, I thought everything was going to change but it hasn't, the delights of shock tactics worked and I'm back. I just wish some things had changed. The feelings haven't gone, I'm still a disappointment to you all and in all honestly I don't think you ever truly wanted me back, did you?
Finally exams are over, the British weather has been glorious - hello tan lines and freckles (:, A2 has started and it's less than 17days till we break up for summer. Regrettably though my teachers have forgotten that summer is reserved purely for socialising, holiday-ing and most of all relaxing. I have my Extended Project research to - the ethics of abortion make for fantastic summer reading - History coursework, English Literature coursework, plus any Psychology they happen to throw our way. Fun, fun. Friday we had a lecture on how important attendance is this year and September will be vital, I don't think my week off right at the beginning of term is going to go down too well then! Never mind, I'd rather spend 2 what look to be fantastic weeks out in Canada and catch up later. Life is too short, I'm not going to miss opportunities anymore. Already looking forward to summer 2011! Possible week abroad with just the girls, will be pure heaven, just depends if we can get it sorted and all the money together.
The moments of complete and utter insecurity keep coming back and I dont know how to make them go away. You've done nothing wrong and I trust you to the end of the world and back again, but I dont trust them. Doesnt the fact they want to talk again and meet up mean something to you? How do I know that what I'm giving you is enough and they arent able to give you more? I dont want to hold you back when someone like you deserves the very best. The scary thing is everything I say I never want in the future, you make me want it all with you. That scares me so much, how can one person have that effect on someone else?
Ever get the feeling your drifitng from someone? I had that for a while but tonight just proved to me that if you put the effort in then the time you spend together is just as incredible as it ever was. You can pretend like your a walrus with chopsticks, you can make smiley faces with your left over puddings, you can play with a toy car at a train station you found and most importantly you can sit back and really think: You are my best friend, and you are worth every wierd look we get from everyone else.
It's getting late and my thoughts are becoming scrawled, incoherent lines on a computer screen. I have missed writing, makes me feel a little bit better every time I finish.
It's been a while, hasn't it? I just couldn't write whilst everything was happening and if I had carried on then I think it would have just been too much, almost too personal? The fact this is so anonymous, hardly anybody reads this and most of the time it never makes sense just makes its so much easier. To sum, I thought everything was going to change but it hasn't, the delights of shock tactics worked and I'm back. I just wish some things had changed. The feelings haven't gone, I'm still a disappointment to you all and in all honestly I don't think you ever truly wanted me back, did you?
Finally exams are over, the British weather has been glorious - hello tan lines and freckles (:, A2 has started and it's less than 17days till we break up for summer. Regrettably though my teachers have forgotten that summer is reserved purely for socialising, holiday-ing and most of all relaxing. I have my Extended Project research to - the ethics of abortion make for fantastic summer reading - History coursework, English Literature coursework, plus any Psychology they happen to throw our way. Fun, fun. Friday we had a lecture on how important attendance is this year and September will be vital, I don't think my week off right at the beginning of term is going to go down too well then! Never mind, I'd rather spend 2 what look to be fantastic weeks out in Canada and catch up later. Life is too short, I'm not going to miss opportunities anymore. Already looking forward to summer 2011! Possible week abroad with just the girls, will be pure heaven, just depends if we can get it sorted and all the money together.
The moments of complete and utter insecurity keep coming back and I dont know how to make them go away. You've done nothing wrong and I trust you to the end of the world and back again, but I dont trust them. Doesnt the fact they want to talk again and meet up mean something to you? How do I know that what I'm giving you is enough and they arent able to give you more? I dont want to hold you back when someone like you deserves the very best. The scary thing is everything I say I never want in the future, you make me want it all with you. That scares me so much, how can one person have that effect on someone else?
Ever get the feeling your drifitng from someone? I had that for a while but tonight just proved to me that if you put the effort in then the time you spend together is just as incredible as it ever was. You can pretend like your a walrus with chopsticks, you can make smiley faces with your left over puddings, you can play with a toy car at a train station you found and most importantly you can sit back and really think: You are my best friend, and you are worth every wierd look we get from everyone else.
It's getting late and my thoughts are becoming scrawled, incoherent lines on a computer screen. I have missed writing, makes me feel a little bit better every time I finish.
I'd quite like to go explore Narnia soon, and sit by Mr Tumnus's fire for a while.
In A While Crocodile.
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